Yay Milestone done with.

Hurrah. My JC art journey...whatever... has ended and yea... Its good to get that shit off my back..
Its 12.30 past midnight and I haven't done GP...Zzz...
Really got to get my act together. Fast. Sigh... After weighing the options... It will be good to have a decent A lvl cert so yea, follow through with the plan of studying like a dog.

I want to be angry and get into a fury. Smash some things.. I need to vent my anger/ frustration..
Its not that difficult. I just have NO TIME! to play guitar.. Go for a jog ( hey don't laugh I know I say I will but I never go in the end but.. zz) bleah...
I'm really at a loss.
What am I supposed to do?
sigh...
Ok off to bed since im obviously not going to do my homework now...
at least this weekend is gonna be good... hahaah mega food at rahman's YEA!

Le Cordon Bleu Paris.

Lawl. My first time desiring something in Cert form.

But muwahahaha money has dealt a cruel blow.
47K PER Term, not including lodging, visa, insurance, food. GOOD GOD MAN!

The hell...
I know the school is god like la but what the shit...
Sigh..
Well paralleling this to getting into Harvard and Oxford and all I guess...
Its pretty outta reach.. :X
Fine.
Geez.
Settle for something cheaper I guess.
Gotta look around again when I have time.

Paris, you are just too damn freaking high-class for me. Sod off.

Take whatever comes to you..

And pride is just another way of trying to live with my mistakes
Denial is a better way of getting through another day
And silence is another way of saying what I wanna say
And lying is another way of hoping it will go away

Its been on my mind..

The FUTURE that is.

Well, after so many years of slacking and avoiding the problem.. It ain't going away..
Its just going to show up in my face so heck I have to face it.
Just what the devil am I going to do?
To be honest I don't want to teach.
I love lit, I love art and music. But guess what? I'm not a prodigy at any. I didn't have the hours and free time to put my heart and soul into these.
And fine I'm accepting of the time period im born in and the way the world is right now.
It seems like we won't have much of a great history to look back to.
No one is going to look back and say Hey the 2000s, 2010s... No I doubt it.
Life is GREAT and we're taking it for granted.
An Age of constant progress. an Age of peace.

Perhaps it was better when we had something to fight for.
Perhaps too much peace is bad.
I'm not advocating a war or anything...
But whats SO great about our time now?
What have we so marvellously achieved that we did not already intend/expect to?
Is it ever surprising?

Just waiting for 2012 to end.
Then we'll see.
Maybe something historic will happen. :)

I really have to decide what to do. SOON.
I was drilled into thinking science was interesting.
Its ... yawnnnnn...
I thought the arts would have something to offer...
I get all this high flown wish wash mumbo jumbo.

I'm well aware of my impulsive nature
I like to start on new projects and toss them aside and start on new ones..
It kinda sucks to not finish what I do...
Hahaha I guess thats me...

Bye bye shelter.
Thank you for keeping me safe from the storm
I guess from now on it won't be smooth sailing anymore..

Skating away~!

..On the thin ice of a new day!

Heh everyday is a new day filled with the danger of sinking.
Tread lightly and carefully.
Those who are able to derive joy from such peril
Are able to skate and have fun.

=/

SOD OFF!!!

The ship is too heavy to keep afloat.
Toss everything redundant out,
And Sail on to the future.

Seriously, I think its time to take stock of what we really want to keep in our lives and toss the rest out.
How is it really going to help? By being a burden?
I guess this pretty much is related to everything.

So many issues and annoyances in school.
SOD OFF WILL YOU
GROW A BRAIN and help yourself (haha Vegan)
No more time for trivialties.

'Life sucks. So suck it up.' HAHA So stolen.
Those that will journey along with you are the ones that will genuinely help you.
They're for keeps.
Monsters should be stabbed and hanged. (haha again at the Vegan)

Pretenders and liars all.
I highly doubt I'll want to see them ever again.
Its not an environment to gain life-long friends.
It is just another period of time allocated by the bureaucracy.
And life is pretty much not as restricted as it seems, in Singapore for that matter.
SOD OFF and STOP defining my life for me.
Really GET A LIFE and get OFF life support or any other life prolonging aids.

Going home to mug is a bad idea eh?
Sod off. Are YOU going to personally ensure that I get the hours without distractions or wastage?
Only thing I'm thankful for is the shortened timetable.
CT seriously? K whatever.
Why the hell are we in a cell? Until 12.30 in the afternoon anyway. What utter RUBBISH.
Quit assuming you HAVE to feed us as if we're morons.
Sure we are told we can do as well as the other students in the other JCs, we just lack determination and discipline.
Then why teach us any different?
Why does it look like memorisation (Vegan you are a Noob) is the way to go?
Higher order thinking my ass man.
A Fool's prescription is not helping.

Plan B looks so much more appealing right now.
I have to GET OUT.
NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING!!!

Fed up. Are you?

Sigh too many expectations to fulfil.
I gave all, and so what?
I keep getting this shit.
Should I give up too?
Wouldn't you, you the reader love to see me join the ranks of the damned.

Lol at least my brother is helping me with the black vinyl sticker.
Then again recently we've been helping each other ever since I got sick and he became my maid (for that time) LOL.
Ah well..

I have to get away.
From home, from school, from expectations.. from Singapore.
RUN AWAY RUN AWAY!!!
But then, it'll all catch up to me eventually.
So whats it worth to get a quick fix from a puff of nostalgia and euphoria?
Only to miss out later on.

Sacrifices have to be made now.
What I do may or may not come to anything eventually.
'Like a dog' I say.
My new motto for the A's.
If not I guess theres aways opening a Mee Rebus Stall with Rahman. Hahaha..

14 September. The Incident. Whoo hoo! =)
Arts becoming a huge drag. Got to get it done. Fast. Like now. lol.. Yes art is being done as I type.
I fear I may end up giving up. On everything. But whats new?
We're either Jaded or Deluded. That or you are probably TRULY like a DOG. A Machine. Ritual Routine Boredom.
Lit can just fuck off lah.. I'm not moving anywhere. This is as far as I'm getting without practice and just my own effort. A low B i.e. 15/25... Not bad I guess.
History. Wah lau I'm putting in the effort. So what..? Whatever lah..
Haha most epic. Failed GP
Failed MATHS! Ok that was mega mega disappointing. Sorry Mr Lim! Hahah the only awesome math teacher I will work hard for!
Art theory oso failed. Hahah... Tired deproved. I guess I should just get really worked up and emo and slit my wrists eh?
Ok nvm thats really too tiring. Doing something happy or eating happy food is better. And since I am usually alone when I'm down, I have the task of cheering myself up. Hah.

Really can't wait for the Incident. Something new finally. Steven Wilson FTW.
K I'm off to draw my tree.

Ginmink

To Love!
A proclaimation of mine own.
Konfusing as it is the word love,
Just another way of saying how I feel.

Up till now its been a gradual journey,
As cliche as it sounds.
It grows with each day.

In my drunk and aphrodisiac stupor,
I hail thee.
*Hic* <3
Cointreau.

But seriously, even if I'm not ready now.
I guess the good thing is that I don't mind the possible future together.
(Btw this is totally random. Shaddup Rahman)
We are who we choose to be.
And that is encouragment enough.